This Month's Story

“That’s to show you how to flip and turn your mattress so that it wears uniformly. See you flip it this way, then rotate it, then flip it again, then rotate, and you are back to where you started. If you do one turn every three months, then at the end of the year you have rotated it a full cycle.”

Stella has decided that we need to buy a new mattress.

“What’s wrong with the old mattress?” I asked. I didn’t really get an answer; just that she doesn’t like it, she has never really liked it, and besides it’s old. Anyway, we need a new one.

I’ll admit it’s old. We bought the mattress, as well as a refrigerator, a washing machine, a dryer, a dishwasher and a garbage disposal all in one afternoon at Sears when we first built the house twenty-five years ago. Except for the mattress, they’re all gone now, broken and discarded. Which philosophically may mean something, but I’m not sure what that is.

When she first broached the idea of buying a new mattress, I went and checked the old one. It seemed in good shape, easily in as good a shape as the one that she likes so much in the front bedroom. That one is only fifteen years old.

We’ve started the “looking around” stage. We no longer buy things the same day we decide we need them; we “look around.” This stage can sometimes take awhile.

Our bedroom furniture took two years of “looking around.” Our living room furniture took three. So now we are looking, but I don’t think the mattress should start worrying about being replaced for a while.

When we went to one of the mattress places and began listening to the same pitch that I had heard several times before, I let my eyes wander to a small diagram set in the fabric at the base of one of the mattresses. It showed the mattress being flipped and rearranged in several proscribed positions.

“What’s this about?” I asked.

“That’s to show you how to flip and turn your mattress so that it wears uniformly. See you flip it this way, then rotate it, then flip it again, then rotate, and then you are back to where you started. If you do one turn every three months, then at the end of the year you have rotated it a full cycle.”

I stared at him, not sure I heard him correctly, “You turn the mattress how often?”

“We consider three months as the maximum time that people will go without turning their mattress. Of course, you probably do it more often. Just how often do you do it?”

Stella looked at me and then turned and busied herself looking at the fabric of a nearby mattress.

“Well,” I said, “we had a thorough workover of the house for Pilgrimage in ‘91. I turned it then.”

“No,” said Stella. “That was in ‘92.”

“Right,” I said correcting myself. “It was in ‘92.”

The salesman looked at us and then quickly proceeded to show us some of the advantages of the mattresses he had on display. He never returned to the subject of flipping mattresses, but he did emphasize the ability of the mattresses he was showing to take heavy wear.

When we left the store and climbed in our car, I happened to glance up at the small windshield decal that stated the car was due for oil, lub and filter work. I started the car and headed home, making a mental note to schedule it and to tell them that it was time to also rotate the tires.

We stopped at the Post Office on the way home and Stella picked up the mail. There was a postcard from the dentist that I was due for my six-month check up and cleaning. I made another mental note.

When we got home I took some sun tea from the refrigerator and told Stella I was going to sit on the lounge on the porch with Jennie. Jennie leaped up and down; maybe I would let her play fetch with the Frisbee. I didn’t. Instead I relaxed and thought about the things that had been happening.

Somehow, I felt things seemed to be getting away from me. I was being told to see my doctor once a year, my optometrist and dentist twice a year, my car mechanic every 12,000 miles (for the car and again for the pickup), the vet once a year, have the air conditioner checked in the spring and the heater in the fall, the smoke alarm twice a year... The list goes on and on.

Now I’m being told I’m to rotate the mattresses every three months!

The heck with it, I thought. Let someone else worry about flipping the damn mattress, I was going to worry about whether I should face to the right or to the left when I laid back on the lounge to take my nap.

Jennie took that moment to drop the Frisbee on my lap. I looked at her and a broad grin spread over her face as her tongue hung out. She pranced in anticipation and I threw the Frisbee.

She raced out and leaping spectacularly in the air, caught it about four feet from the ground. It was a beautiful catch. As she pranced proudly back with her prize, I realized that she had the right idea.

Carpe Diem! (Seize The Day!)